shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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