her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize