As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize