she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Randomize
