I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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