The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
