that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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