We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
