I've blown a few things in my day
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
