if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
