I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Randomize
