Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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