I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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