508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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