so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You're breaking my sexual little heart
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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