Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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