he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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