I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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