Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
