my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize