its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
