just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
