Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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