:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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