I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
