So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
