So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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