if you like me you must not know who I am
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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