Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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