He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
