Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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