reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just found puke in my bra..
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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