it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
