Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize