Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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