I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
