oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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