he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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