It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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