Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
