they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
