my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
