he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
