so that wasnt chicken after all
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
