He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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