okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
