eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I need moral support for this bender
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize