This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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