I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
