hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
