idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
