the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i think i scared a bird with my dick
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
