lets start a swedish sibling band together
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i came on her dog
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
