My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
