Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
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