And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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