you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
