My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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