There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize